


Blood Sugar

by piberrynk



Category: Haikyuu!!, haikyuu
Genre: Angst, Anorexia, Character Death, Disordered Eating, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Haikyuu - Freeform, Hospitals, Kozume Kenma - Freeform, KuroKen - Freeform, Kuroo Tetsurou - Freeform, M/M, Relationship Problems, Sick Kozume Kenma, haikyuu angst, haikyuu! - Freeform, i almost cried while writing this, i dont want the tags to give spoilers, mlm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28711950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piberrynk/pseuds/piberrynk
Summary: Kenma never felt like he was "enough", slowly starting to destroy his body and his mind. He believed that he was fine, unable to see that he was spiraling out of control. As the numbers dropped, so did his body.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 8
Kudos: 74





	Blood Sugar

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I wrote this as a way to express my emotions and thoughts because I'm honestly terrified of bringing this up to my friends (although, if you happen to know who I am in real life, um just, I don't really know what to say about that). The way I described Kenma's symptoms are based on what I have experienced myself, so it may not fully apply to everyone. Also, I am undiagnosed for any eating disorder, and I will not diagnose myself, but I still have come to terms with the fact that the way I view food is not normal. Anyway, thank you for your time and I guess enjoy the fic? or not I'm not sure I wrote this in 2 days while ignoring the 10 assignments I have due this week.

Kenma stared at his laptop screen blankly, his head and heart constantly pounding, causing him to feel uneasy. For the whole day, he was unable to properly focus on anything- constantly zoning out and not being able to get any of his thoughts straight. He regretted consuming all the coffee he had earlier due to how it was making him fidgety and nervous, and while he already expected this to happen, he still continued to do so. Everything hurt. His arms, legs, head, and stomach. It’s an unpleasant feeling, having your stomach constantly churn and give sharp, sometimes unbearable pain, but forcing yourself to ignore it. Kenma had gotten used to all of these feelings, and learned how to distract himself from the pain so that he wouldn’t be able to feel it while he waited for it to fade away, or when he had become numb to it.

At times, the pain could be unbearable, and all he would be able to do was curl up under his blanket and hope it went away. He hated this. He hated his mindset. He hated everything. Despite this, he was also addicted to this feeling. To him, it was a reward for “having control and being good”. He told himself this every day and believed everything. 

He checked the time on his phone. 1 pm. 73 hours. It had already been 3 days. 

Usually, by the 3rd day, he would be able to control the feelings of discomfort and pain, becoming numb to it. Why was he torturing his body in this way? Why was he doing this to himself? Could nobody see-through Kenma’s lies, notice something was wrong?

His phone began to ring. Startled by the sudden sound, Kenma picked it up, observing the caller ID, noticing that it was Kuroo.

“Kenma! Hey, how are things?”

“Oh- I’m fine...Just doing some work. How’s lunch going?”

“Bokuto and Akaashi were asking about you, are you sure you didn’t want to join us? I mean- please, feel free to join us at any time! You already know the address, right? It’d be nice to have you here.”

Kenma forced a slight laugh, “Don’t worry about me, I’m alright with being at home, I’ll probably eat some leftovers or order something a bit later.”

“Are you sure Kenma? You haven’t eaten out in a while.”

“I’m fine, Kuroo. I promise- I’m just consumed with work right now, that's all. Uh, I don’t want to be taking up much of your time during lunch... so enjoy the lunch, and tell Bokuto and Akaashi that I said hi!”

“Will do. I miss you! I’ll drop by your house later, okay?”

“Sure! Hah, I miss you too. See you later, Kuroo!”

Kenma hung up the phone, thinking about what was just said.

_ Lunch. Food. _

_ Damn it Kenma, stop. Distract yourself again, ignore it again. Do it for yourself. Do something right for once and stop thinking about it.  _

_ Food. Numbers. Numbers- I haven’t checked the scale today yet. _

Instinctively, Kenma wrapped his thumb and index finger around his wrist.

_ Not enough. _

Kenma got up from his chair, walking over to the full-length mirror that conveniently sat in the corner of the room. He lifted his shirt up, observing everything he saw in the mirror, checking every inch of his body. He traced his skin and the bones that slightly stuck out and pinched different parts.

_ I was able to grab too much there. _

_ Why is there so much fat? _

_ It shouldn’t be moving like that. _

_ Not enough. Not fucking thin enough. Try harder.  _

He turned around, making his way to the kitchen to drink his 6th cup of water for the day. He wished that he was able to hang out with Kuroo, Akaashi, and Bokuto that day, but everyone had already gotten used to him backing out of plans for going out, and he didn’t know if he found comfort or loneliness in that. Kenma was relieved that not a lot of people questioned why he did this, most likely just assuming that he was either tired or didn’t feel like interacting with people that day. While this was true, Kenma also despised the thought of having other people watch him eat. He hated eating around anyone, no matter who it was, and would even get nervous if someone were to even watch him pick up any snack. He was scared of other people’s judgment on his food intake when he would decide to eat, that is, and always locked himself in his room when he wanted to eat, or when he was going through a binge. It sucked not being able to enjoy meals with his family or friends, but he preferred it that way, no matter how lonely or boring it got for him.

\----------

A light knock was heard on his bedroom door, catching Kenma off guard. He turned his phone on, seeing that it was 7:30 pm. The knocking continued, followed by a voice;

“Kenma? Are you awake?”

_ Kuroo.  _

Kenma responded with words Kuroo was unable to understand, being too tired to speak properly.

“Can I come in?”

Kenma responded with slurred speech once again.

Kuroo slowly twisted the doorknob, letting himself into Kenma’s room. Despite it being warm inside, Kenma was laying down in bed, wrapped in 2 blankets, slightly shivering. Kuroo gently placed his hand on Kenma’s forearm, then his cheek, noticing that his body temperature was lower than he expected it to be. Kenma felt the pillows on his bed shift around, and upon noticing that Kuroo was now sitting next to him, he sat up.

“God, you look terrible,” Kuroo said as Kenma fully uncovered his face from the blankets. 

Kenma shot a glare at Kuroo, unmotivated to speak.

“Wait wait I’m sorry- Are you feeling okay? You don’t look too good.”

Kenma sighed, moving closer to Kuroo. “Yeah, I’m alright. Just a bit tired I guess? I’m sorry for not being at my best right now.”

“That’s alright, Ken-ken, it’s nothing to apologize about. Have you eaten yet?”

_ “Have you eaten yet?”. _

The question struck Kenma. He hated having to respond to this. 

“Yeah, I ate a little before I passed out.” He replied

“What did you eat?”

_ Why? _

Another question Kenma hated having to answer. Usually, he would make up some lie, reciting a random food combination or snack, hoping that it seemed believable enough. Unfortunately for him, a lot of what he’d say was extremely repetitive and would lead the other person to be in slight disbelief of what Kenma would say.

“Uh… Just a rice and tuna bowl, not much.”

“...Alright. How are you?”

“I’ve been pretty busy with some work I guess, I had to catch up on a few submissions,” Kenma said as he motioned towards the few pages of paper that were scattered on his desk, along with his laptop which had a google doc open with only his name and a single sentence written down. He knew that he would have more than a sentence written if only his head wasn’t beating him up earlier. 

Kuroo nodded, checking the time again.

“It’s kind of late right now, should we have some dinner? I think I-”

“It’s alright, sorry, I’m honestly not too hungry right now…”

_ I’m starving. _

“I’ll eat later, don’t worry, but you should probably eat now.”

Kuroo tilted his head slightly, staring into Kenma’s eyes. Kenma could tell that Kuroo was deep in some thought, but he couldn’t tell what it was exactly. Judging by the soft look in his eyes and the way his shoulders rested, Kenma’s best guess was concern.

“Kuroo, don’t worry about me, okay? You can go back home to eat, I’ll call you later if neither of us can meet up again, alright?”

Kuroo nodded, leaning in to kiss Kenma on his forehead. 

“I love you Ken-ken, take care and rest a bit more, okay?”

“Love you too Kuroo, talk to you later!”

Once Kuroo had left Kenmas room and he heard the front door shut, everything that was on Kenma’s mind came flooding back, almost drawing him.

_ I want food. I shouldn’t, but everything is starting to hurt again. Fuck- I know Kuroo meant well, but why did he have to bring up eating in the conversation? _

Kenma felt everything blur, including his thoughts.

_ I need to eat. Now. I want to end the pain. It’s been... What? 78 hours? Okay, just… try to find or make something that’d be less than 400. You’ll be okay. You are in control. You. Are. In. Control. _

Did he actually have control over himself?

Kenma observed the food that sat in his fridge, barely touched. A few eggs, rice, various meats, cheese, vegetables, and some sandwich spreads. Grabbing the rice and some meat, he threw together a small meal, careful with calculating each calorie in it. ½ cup rice, 100. The Barbeque chicken leftovers, he estimated to be 215. A total of 315. As long as he didn’t eat anything after this, he would be fine. 

He lifted the teaspoon closer to his mouth, carefully and slowly chewing the small bite. He ate. Lift the spoon, chew slowly, swallow. Lift the spoon, chew, swallow. Lift the spoon, chew faster, swallow. Faster and faster, as his hunger from not eating for more than 3 days straight swallowed him, trapping him, everything around him started moving quickly, and he reached out for various foods and snacks, blindly eating them, and not giving any of what he was doing a second thought. He didn’t think about the calories in what he was grabbing. He ignored the fact that he was full, and continued forcing food down his throat. Finally, it all stopped. The pain in his stomach had subsided, happy that it was finally fulfilled with being much more than full. Kenma, on the other hand, blankly stared at his surroundings, trying to comprehend what had just happened. The small stack of plates and empty wrappers surrounded him

_ Shit- no, no, no, please. What happened to me? _

He should have seen this coming but was so blinded by the feeling of hunger. It consumed him. More thoughts flooded his head again.

_ Erase it. Erase ALL of it. What the fuck are you waiting for?  _

\----------

Kenma dried his hands on the towel, feeling the pain and soreness return, and the faint smell of vomit on him. His throat ached, unable to make sounds without sounding strained. His knuckles were slightly red, his eyes and cheeks were puffy and stained with tears, and his stomach ached from the pressure put on it. It was done. Kenma was satisfied with his deed, happy that he was able to get a majority of the food back out. But he was so tired. So tired. In pain, mentally and physically, from the vicious restriction-binge-purge cycle.

Kenma missed being able to have a normal relationship and viewpoint on food. He missed being able to pick up packets of food without checking the nutrition labels. He missed being able to go through TikTok and  **not** mentally calculating the number of calories for each food item in the video. He didn’t want to have to struggle, to lie to those he loved, about his depleting and crashing health. He hated that he was now trapped in a cage that he had built for himself, with numerous rules to keep himself “safe”, to make sure that he was still “being good”, and with seemingly no way out.

Kenma had never told anyone about his problems, scared of being yelled at, judged, or told to “Just eat. It’s all in the head”. Forced to keep everything to himself and struggle alone, he was at a constant loss of not knowing what to do. He did want to escape the cage that he had built, he hated it here, but he didn’t know how, and whenever it felt like he was about to make it, he would just miss the final step, and fall back into the hole of suffering, pain, and torture.

His thoughts were disturbed again by Kuroo, calling him once again. Kenma hesitated to pick up but decided to respond to the call to not raise any suspicions. He quickly had two gulps of water, hopefully enough to clear his throat, and picked up.

“Kenma! Hey, sorry for not being able to go back to your house. Are you feeling better? Did you rest? Eat?”

“Yeah, don’t worry, I got a bit of rest, but-”

“Your voice… Are you sure you’re alright?”

Kenma tried to clear his throat a bit; “Oh yeah- after I woke up from my nap again, I didn’t feel well, I might be sick or something. But don’t worry about me! It’s just a sore throat and a small cold...I think. I’ll be fine. Also, don’t worry, I did eat.” Kenma replied, voice still a bit strained.

_ Just keep lying. _

The call was filled with momentary silence.

“Stay at home tomorrow if you’re still not feeling better, okay? I’ll tell the coach to excuse you from the practices we have, you got that?”

“Mmhm…”

“Your health is important Kenma, so please, take care of yourself. Take some vitamins and then go to bed please.”

“Yes, don’t worry, I will. Sorry for consuming so much of your time and concern today… You didn’t even get to tell me what happened at lunch with Bokuto and Akaashi.”

“That doesn’t matter right now, I’ll tell you about it tomorrow if you’re still willing to listen. Right now, I’m prioritizing YOU.”

“Thank you, Kuroo. Good night!” Kenma said softly, filled with love, slightly touched by Kuroo’s care and concern.

“Mmh, I love you too Ken-Ken, rest! Good night!”

_ “Good” night. _

\----------

Kenma woke up to the obnoxious ring of his alarm at 6:50 am. Annoyed, he turned it off and rolled over to the other side of his bed, but was unable to get rest again. 

_ Let's not forget about your fuck-up from yesterday, Kenma. Just because you threw up doesn’t completely mean you “erased” everything. You didn’t un-do shit. It doesn't work like command-Z. Go back. Go back to starving yourself today. You have to do it, otherwise, things can never go back to normal. Doesn’t it always bother you that you’re lying to Kuroo? _

“Shut up, shut up, shut up.” Kenma replied to the voice in his head. He couldn’t argue much though, since he completely agreed with his thoughts. He had to work on having more control over his food intake, even if he didn’t have any control over this to begin with. All Kenma wanted now was more control. He would always feel guilty when he’d consume any food that he didn’t “deserve”, and would hurt himself by over-exercising or leaning over a toilet, shoving his fingers down his throat.

Upon realizing that he hadn’t checked his messages and notifications yet after having just slammed his screen to shut his alarm up, or not even checking what time it was, he saw his lock screen, showing a notification for 3 messages from Kuroo.

6:30 am

**[KUROO]:** Good morning Ken-ken!

**[KUROO]:** Are you going to school today? I hope you feel better…

**[KUROO]:** I’ll take it as a no if you don’t respond in 40 minutes, but that’s fine! Take care! <3

6:55 am

**[KENMA]:** Hey rooster head bed-hair idiot, I'm awake, not thriving, but alive :)

**[KENMA]:** And good morning!

**[KUROO]:** He has risen! Welcome back. Anyway, are you going to school today?

**[KENMA]:** Yep, I’m feeling much better compared to last night.

**[KENMA]:** I’ll meet you at the corner at 7:20, and then we can walk to the station as usual

**[KUROO]:** Hah, see you soon, bye for now! I know you’re still in bed so go get ready

**[KENMA]:** Okay dad.

**[KUROO]:** that's daddy for you.

**[KENMA]:** >:(

**[KUROO]:** love you too. </3

Kenma laughed to himself as he got out of bed, taking his uniform off of the hanger. His arms ached, and his legs felt weak, but he just pretended that the pain was non-existent. He considered himself lucky for not waking up to hunger and hoped that it would stay that way for the whole day. After another time check, seeing that it was already 7:10 am, Kenma made sure he had everything in his bag, including his volleyball uniform and shoes for later. He felt guilty for using club practice as a way to feed his desire to be thinner, burning extra fat because it’s not like his body had any extra calories to burn anyway.

He left his house quickly, avoiding contact with his parents. Seeing Kuroo in the distance sparked a little happiness in him, giving him the energy he needed for that day. The two walked together to the train station to get a ride to school, Kenma absorbed into a game and Kuroo observing him as he played.

“Nothing can beat your love for gaming, right?”

“Maybe my love for you?” Kenma replied, trying to act sweet.

“KYANMA!” Kuroo exclaimed as he threw his arm over Kenma’s shoulder, shaking him.

“I take it back, nothing, and no one can beat my love for gaming.”

“I-”

“Shhhh.” Kenma turned to smile at Kuroo, then looked back down to his switch. 

\----------

The two parted ways once they got to school since, after all, they were in different years. The day went by slowly, and Kenma felt a little of his energy drain. A short while before their after-school practice started, Kenma made sure to have a can of an energy drink to give him the boost of energy he needed. Practice went by as normal, despite Kenma being a little sloppy on his sets and receives. Kuroo had already informed everyone on how Kenma wasn’t feeling well the night before, so nobody called him out, but instead appreciated the effort that he was still putting in since it was unlike Kenma to still be trying while feeling unwell.

Kenma felt himself become dizzy, either from not having eaten anything yet, the energy drink, practice, or a combination of all three. During the water break, Kenma drank small sips of water while resting his forehead against Kuroo’s shoulder, leaning against him for support. Kenma’s light grip on Kuroo’s arm set something off in Kuroo. He knew something was wrong and was now filled with a little determination to find out what had happened, or what was wrong.

“Kenma, are you feeling alright?”

“I’m... Yeah, I'm fine, it's nothing. I mean, I didn’t get much sleep last night and while I'm feeling healthy- not sick- I was just still a bit tired.”

“Mmhm?”

“So I had an energy drink a while before practice started, which I’m now realizing wasn’t the best idea.”

“It’s never a good idea- was it a monster?”

Kenma nodded his head, followed by Kuroo rolling his eyes, but laughing a bit.

“Alright, alright- drink some more water to feel better. I won't tell coach because I know for a fact that he will be disappointed if he found out you had a monster energy drink.”

Kenma lightly punched Kuroo’s arm, smiling. He lifted the bottle back to his mouth, drinking the entire bottle’s contents. 

Practice went on with Kenma feeling less nauseous compared to before.

Kenma continued this routine for the rest of the week, continuing to listen to that dumb, annoying, yet overpowering, and convincing voice in his head that would scream at him if he even dared to go near food. This continued for much longer than Kenma expected it too, and he reached a new fasting score of 8 days. He knew that his body was slowly losing its functionality, but he didn’t care. As the numbers he saw got lower and lower, his motivation and determination grew, pushing him to continue restricting, limiting his food intake.

It was a satisfying feeling for Kenma, seeing the numbers on the scale decrease. It felt like he was achieving something, doing something good for himself. While he still never felt like the numbers were “low enough”, seeing them decrease gave him the inspiration he needed to make it “low enough”. He was honestly surprised that nobody at home had said anything yet about why the food in the fridge wasn’t being consumed, but it’s not like his parents had time to care and check on it anyway, or to even ask how he was doing.

The lack of food consumption, glucose, and nutrients make Kenma weaker and weaker, but he paid no attention to this. He couldn’t even tell how weak he was getting, since he was already numb to these feelings. It was a small game for him, a challenge, a quest (if he was going to use gaming terms as another form of motivation).

_ How long would Kozume Kenma be able to go on without eating, before he passes out, or dies? _

Kenma didn’t know which option he preferred. If he passed out, he would have to deal with the embarrassment, guilt, and the mix of disappointed and concerned feelings given to him by everyone. If he were to die, he would be able to leave everything behind, but would also leave his heart-broken friends and family behind too. Two options in which the outcome would be unpredictable, and mostly depended on how much longer his weakening body and crashing physical health could go on. 

He was also surprised that he was still able to perform decently in volleyball practice despite being empty for days. Kuroo, out of all people who knew Kenma the best, also couldn’t catch on to how something was very, very wrong with Kenma. He felt like Kuroo wasn’t to be blamed here though, since he was already doing his best to hide it from anyone, and was already alright with how it seemed like nobody suspected him of starving himself.

_ How long would Kozume Kenma be able to go on without eating, before he passes out, or dies, was a question soon to be answered. _

Day 9 of restricting calories and food.

_ \---------- _

Kuroo woke up at 6 am to the sounds of a loud commotion and a siren on the street. 

_ A crowd at this time in the morning? What is that sound- _

Kuroo put a hoodie on, walking out of his house, and getting closer to the source of the noises. As he approached, he felt his heart beat faster and faster, the pounding feeling and fear growing. Kuroo saw both of Kenma’s parents standing on the doorstep, covered with fear and tears.

_ Wait...But if both Mr. and Mrs. Kozume are standing there… then… Kenma?? What the fuck. What the fuck is happening? _

Mrs. Kozume noticed Kuroo standing behind the crowd in fear, but she called his attention, signaling him to come closer.

“Kenma… We found him unconscious in his bed.” She spoke in a shaky voice, scared of losing her son.

“Wh...What? Is it known why? He seemed to have been fine in practice yesterday”

“We aren’t sure yet. He’s going to be admitted to the hospital now, where they’ll run a few tests.” Kenma’s father spoke to answer.

“Tetsurou, we’ll let you know what happens. I understand that you’re worried about him too. When all of this is sorted out. For now, we’ll share the details so you can visit him.” Kenma’s mother continued through tears.

Kuroo slowly walked back to his home as the ambulance and crowd disappeared. Closing the door to his room, he locked himself in. Kuroo collapsed on the floor, feeling himself become weaker with the overwhelming emotions, breaking into tears. He was so scared, confused, worried, mad at himself that he wasn’t able to have noticed any changes in Kenma’s health.

He made an effort to continue going to school that day, still shaken up and unstable from what happened that morning. Word spread quickly, and everyone was talking about it.

“Did you hear what happened? Kozume was found unconscious this morning.”

“He was taken to the hospital at 6 am?”

“Wait did someone die?”

“Kozume Kenma from class 2-3? He was unconscious?”

It was all Kuroo heard for the whole morning, and his Nekoma teammates were quick to rush to him, checking how he was doing. Of course, they didn’t expect to see Kuroo in his usual happy and smug state, but rather saw him with puffy eyes and his mind which was going in and out of focus.

Around lunchtime, Kuroo sat silently at the table, so tired and heart-broken from everything. He was so focused on Kenma, worrying about him, that he was barely able to focus on any of his classes, but given the situation, the teachers excused him for this one time. Kuroo stared at his phone, desperately waiting to get a notification of a message from Kenma’s parents.

The chime that was desperately being waited for by Kuroo filled the silent, tense area with sound. The room details. Kuroo now had to find the strength in him to be able to wait for the rest of the day, where the second he was able to go home, he’d run straight to the hospital. He had to see Kenma.

\----------

“Mr. Kozume, I see that you’re finally awake.” The doctor spoke in a soft voice.

Kenma squinted from the lights, still trying to adjust. He was confused, a little scared, and honestly annoyed that he had to wake up.

_ Wish I died. _

“Mr. Kozume. May we discuss your test results?” the doctor continued.

Kenma looked to his side, noticing the doctor that was sitting on a chair next to him. He nodded, signaling the doctor to continue. His parents were then brought into the room, who exclaimed when they saw Kenma alive in the bed.

“From the blood test, we noticed that Kozume Kenma is severely malnourished. His blood sugars are unusually low, too. Why is that?”

“I don’t understand though. He’s a volleyball player, and we also have a stable amount of food at home. How would he be-” Kenma’s mother spoke quickly

Kenma couldn’t do anything except for looking to the side in shame, a very quiet “I’m sorry” leaving his lips.

The doctor was able to quickly catch on to what Kenma meant and requested some time alone with Kenma to ask him a few questions.

“Why do you do it, Kenma?”

“What?”

“Why did you starve yourself? For how long did you go without food?”

Kenma stared at the IV that was stuck in his arm; “...9 days.”

“Nine? Your parents also said that you play volleyball?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Kenma, you were destroying your body and health by doing that. It kills your functionality if you don’t provide yourself with enough nutrition then continue to do a sport.”

“I know.”

“So why? Please, I want to understand your situation.”

Kenma continued in silence, collecting his thoughts and words, unable to express them properly.

“I guess I just...didn’t feel good enough, both with my body and with anything I did, it felt like I wasn’t doing anything right. Food was the only thing I could control, so I stopped eating to have that sense of control. It was satisfying.”

“But, were you in control?”

“...No. But I swear, there’s nothing wrong with me.”

“Kenma, we are here to help you, we just need you to listen and cooperate with the help we are providing you with.”

“I’m not sick,” Kenma repeated himself.

“Kenma, You have disordered eating, an eating disorder, if I must. The mindset and actions you have and do are not healthy in any way.”

“Can I please have some time alone? Could you also ask my parents about Kuroo? Just mention his name to them, please.”

The doctor nodded, understanding Kenma’s situation. Kenma laid back into bed, sinking into the cold pillows while the blanket wrapped around him.

_ I hate it here. I hate everything here. How, or why, did it get to this point? If I had gone longer without eating or passing out, I would have had a higher chance of dying. Fuck. _

_ \---------- _

The second the bell rang at school, Kuroo rushed to the hospital, desperate to see Kenma. His door was open, a few doctors there to perform some physical tests on him. Their eyes met, relieved to see the other, but it was like Kenma’s golden eyes had lost their glow. Kuroo patiently waited outside for the doctors to finish, leaning against the wall, completely lost in thoughts and emotions, but was glad to know that Kenma was alive. Kuroo’s senses were bothering him, the ticking on his watch was too loud and the strong smell of the hospital made him uncomfortable. He had always felt uneasy whenever he visited hospitals, the mood from new life, sickness, and death, was enough to make him anxious.

The doctors finally left Kenma’s room, permitting Kuroo to enter. He walked in, the cold breeze hitting his face, while all Kenma could do was stare at Kuroo as tears formed in his eyes. Kuroo looked down at the sick boy, who’s once happy glow had faded away. Kenma’s eyes screamed tired, his body looked like it was so, so close to giving up and breaking, and yet, Kenma still tried to have a smile on his face.

“I’m sorry, Kuroo,” Kenma spoke in a strained, weakening voice, trying his best to not break down. His mind got the better of him anyway, tears rolling down his cheeks like a waterfall.

Immediately, Kuroo wrapped his arms around him, doing everything he could to comfort him. 

“Kenma-”

“I should have told you. I was scared. I was so scared, Kuroo. I didn’t know how I was supposed to bring this up, or anything…” Kenma sobbed.

“No, no, no none of this is your fault. I should have been able to notice the signs. I’m here now, Kenma, and I’m not leaving your side again. I will always be here, we’ll get through this together.”

The two stayed there, quiet tears falling down. Kenma let go first, falling back down into his bed. He didn’t know how long he would have to stay in the hospital for, and that scared him even more. He wished that he could have been “normal”, and not stress about missing work or even missing practice, no matter how much he hated getting tired. While the two didn’t talk, they still enjoyed each other’s company, and Kuroo held Kenma’s hand as they were doing their own activities.

As it got later throughout the day, Kenma’s parents returned, and Kuroo took this as his note to leave since he also still had to get back home.

“I’ll visit you everyday Ken-ken, alright?” Kuroo turned back to say as he was about to leave the room. Kenma replied with a smile and nod, watching Kuroo walk farther away from the room.

Now, he had another small concern. He looked at his parents, scared of what was to come next. He didn’t want to answer any questions like “Why would you do this to yourself”, but knowing his parents, he was already preparing what he needed to say in his head to respond to this. To his surprise, they also sat down in silence, not asking “Why”. Kenma could tell that his parents were worried sick, unable to find any peace or get any rest that day because of him.

“I’m sorry…”

_ You will have to apologize to everyone. _

“Kenma, you don’t need to apologize to us, it’s alright. We’re here now to help and support you.” His mom spoke.

Kenma’s dad placed a backpack next to his bed. Reaching in to see what was inside, he was pleased to see his games, school materials, and other gadgets his parents felt like he would need during his stay at the hospital. Kenma held his switch close to his chest, finding some form of comfort in it. Visiting hours were ending soon, so Kenma’s parents were not able to stay for long, but like Kuroo, promised to visit the following day. Upon saying their goodbyes, Kenma watched the two walk out into the brightly lit hallway, as his door closed and darkness once again surrounded him.

That night, Kenma felt as if he was barely able to get any rest. He hated how his IV felt in his arm, he hated the tube that was shoved down his nose, he hated how the nurse had watched him force food into his body, even if he knew he had to. The dimly lit room felt empty and cold, and Kenma laid down on his back, staring straight at the ceiling. It was uncomfortable for him, being a person who preferred to sleep curled up on his side. One thing that kept him awake was still thinking about the numbers that surrounded his life, and he thought back on the meals he had earlier, desperately trying to remember the sizes of each portion and how many calories he estimated there being.

_ 2,200. Shit- I know that I shouldn’t have thought about that. Why. Can’t. I. Just. Be. Normal. Whatever the fuck normal is. _

Kenma was thankful that his parents had brought his things the night before since compared to the previous day, he’d have something to distract himself rather than finding his entertainment in trying to find or notice the different shades of white in his room. In the morning, Kenma constantly checked the time on his phone, waiting for the time school would have gotten dismissed, waiting for Kuroo.

_ 10:30 am. _

_ 11:54 am. _

_ 1:03 pm. _

_ 2:29 pm. _

_ 3:15 pm. Finally. The hospital is around 20 minutes away… so now I just need to wait for around 3:35 or 3:40 pm. _

So, Kenma waited, watching, waiting for the door to swing open. Excitement filled him when he saw the very familiar red jacket standing at the doorway. The two spent the whole day together again, promising to spend more time together the following days, so they could still be able to see each other. 

For a week, Kuroo had consistently visited Kenma, which he was thankful for. He needed someone to help keep him sane from everything happening in the hospital for the times he wasn’t able to use his switch. Kuroo didn’t have any problems with doing this though, spending his free time at school doing his work so that he’d be able to spend more time on Kenma. It was the small yet meaningful actions that Kenma cared about. He felt cared for, valid, appreciated, for people not making his disorder the only thing about him, or the only conversation topic, since he didn’t want to talk about it at all, and he valued the precious time he got to spend with those who came to visit him. At one point, Yaku and Lev had also visited Kenma in the hospital to check on their friend. Lev was genuinely scared that Kenma was glad to see him and pleasantly greeted him rather than yelling, so he was happy with that despite it not feeling normal to receive kindness from Kenma at that level.

Everybody was able to notice Kenma’s improvement in his health over time, physically, at least. He still had a severely unhealthy mindset towards food which he was trying his best to change, but he couldn’t. He wanted nothing more except to recover and leave the hospital, go on with his life.

\----------

Wednesday; 3:25 pm

**[KUROO]:** Hey! Kenma, I'm so sorry, I may not be able to visit later :(

**[KUROO]:** I got busy, I’ll try to make it up to you though!

**[KENMA]:** Oh, that’s alright! I understand, see you next time!

**[KUROO]:** What are you doing right now?

**[KENMA]:** I’ll probably go back to playing Hades, I don't plan on doing much

**[KUROO]:** I see. Well, enjoy! I’ll try to catch up with you later, alright?

**[KENMA]:** Sure! I’ll try to text or call you after...dinner later

**[KENMA]:** Is that alright with you?

**[KUROO]:** Of course it is! Ttyl ken-ken, I love you!

**[KENMA]:** Hahah, I love you too :>

  
  


Thursday; 3:38 pm

**[KENMA]:** Are you going to visit today…?

**[KENMA]:** I miss you, babe :((

**[KUROO]:** Kenma I’m so sorry, my schedule is still a bit full

**[KUROO]:** I’ll let you know when I’m free, alright?

**[KENMA]:** Okiee, I love you!

**[KUROO]:** Love you too Ken-ken <3

Friday; 3:55 pm

**[KENMA]:** Kuroo?

**[KUROO]:** Sorry, still not today.

The weekend went by, with either Kuroo not responding to Kenma, or having an extremely dry response from him. Kenma cringed as he stared at how cold and blunt the conversations with Kuroo had gotten. It didn’t feel normal, it didn’t feel like Kuroo. Kenma decided to try calling Kuroo, but the phone kept on ringing and ringing endlessly.

_ That’s not normal. Kuroo always picks the phone up, especially with me? Maybe he was doing something? I mean, he has been pretty busy recently I guess. I should check that with someone else.  _

Kenma switched to another contact and called.

“Yaku.”

“Kenma? Did something happen? Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine, I just needed to ask something about...Kuroo.”

“About Kuroo? Spill, what’s going on?”

“Do you know what he has been busy with after school?”

“I don’t really know actually. He always just goes straight home once school ends, but I don’t think he has mentioned anything about having things to do.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“Kenma, did something happen between you guys? I mean- it’s okay if you don’t feel like sharing.”

“He’s been pretty dry with the texts, and if he isn’t dry in responding then he doesn’t respond at all. He… also hasn’t been answering my calls, which you know is seriously unlike him.”

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow and ask about that.”

“Wait- please don’t do that… I’ll wait for him to respond himself.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, understood. Take care Kenma,”

“Bye Yaku!”

He sighed as he ended the call, making his way back to his text conversation with Kuroo. He could see that Kuroo was active at that time, so there was a much higher chance of getting a response.

**[KENMA]:** Hey, could you please visit tomorrow? I miss having you here.

[ **KUROO]:** I’ll be there at my usual time, 3:40.

[ **KUROO]:** I may not be able to stay for long though.

**[KENMA]:** That’s alright! I just want to see you again. That’s all I need.

**[KENMA]:** Thank you. 

\----------

When Kuroo walked towards Kenma this time, everything felt stiff, the mood wasn’t “right”, and there was an unspoken tension between the two. Kuroo didn’t seem like his usual self and didn’t bother to hug or kiss Kenma, which he was honestly okay with. While Kenma was happy to see Kuroo again, he just wanted answers for why he felt like he was being ignored for the past days. Kuroo kept his hands in his pockets, staring down at the floor, seemingly uninterested in talking or even just looking at Kenma’s still sickly body. 

Kuroo had slowly grown to hate the hospital, and he hated having to see Kenma bedridden, sick, suffering. Kenma still struggled to do a few things by himself, not having enough strength to do so. He honestly was scared of losing Kenma and wanted to distance himself. In the horrible case that something did happen to Kenma, them not being too close would help the situation to hurt less. That was something Kuroo firmly believed and was the plan he was executing.

“Kuroo,” Kenma said firmly, at least making him look up from the floor. 

“What have you been doing?” he continued.

“Nothing. Like I said, I was busy.”

“Busy with what? You didn’t even bother to text me back?”

“I was busy, Kenma.”

“But why-”

“KENMA, WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHEN I SAY I WAS BUSY? IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND?” Kuroo snapped, raising his voice in a way Kenma had never heard in the past 9 years of him knowing Kuroo.

Kenma’s eyes widened with fear, taken back by what Kuroo said. He flinched a little when Kuroo moved to fold his arms, scared that he was going to be hit. Kuroo too was surprised by how Kenma had flinched.

_ Kenma’s...scared of me. _

“Right- My bad, I’m sorry.”

Silence filled the room for 5 minutes, where they both avoided eye contact. Kuroo desperately wished he could leave, guilty of having hurt Kenma, while Kenma also felt overwhelming waves of guilt for making Kuroo yell in the way he did.

“Do you hate me?” Kenma’s soft voice said

“What?”

“Do you hate me?” He repeated himself.

“Kenma- wait please, I didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry. I don’t hate you, I could never hate you.” Kuroo responded, kneeling down on the floor to be at eye-level with Kenma.

“So answer my question. Why haven’t you been responding to me?”

Kuroo knew that his reason was pathetic and selfish, avoiding Kenma when he needed him most, all for his own benefit. Kuroo could tell that Kenma wanted the cold truth, no lies, just Kuroo’s honesty regarding what had just happened, no matter how much the truth would hurt. Kenma patiently waited while Kuroo collected his thoughts.

“I’m selfish, I know. I just… I don’t like being in hospitals and I don’t like seeing you sick and suffering like this. Hospitals set something off in me, making me uncomfortable, so if I’m honestly speaking, I did try to avoid it as much as possible. I wanted to make an effort for YOU. I wish you weren’t in this situation right now, I want you to be okay.”

Kenma looked at Kuroo quietly as tears formed in his eyes as the thought about what Kuroo had just told him. He turned to the side to laugh a bit, pain filling his voice. Pain filling everywhere.

“I should’ve died. That would have made you happy.”

“Kenma what do you mean?” Kuroo responded in a panic.

“If I had died, you wouldn’t need to be coming here. You hate hospitals, right? If I was dead, there would be no reason for you to come here.” Kenma continued, more pain in his voice, the tears in his eyes blurring his vision. He couldn’t properly see Kuroo’s facial expressions, but he could tell that Kuroo was also hurt by what Kenma said.

“I would never wish for you to die! I don’t want to lose you, Kenma. Please, try to understand me here. Please. I love you, I love you so much. What I did, ignoring you, was so fucking childish of me to do. I’ll do anything for you, I’ll visit the hospital more often for you. So fuck if I hate it here, as long as you can be happy, that’s all I truly care about.” Tears now forming in his eyes.

“I want to appreciate that. I really do. But does it look like I’m fucking happy right now? For fucks sake I know for a goddamn fact that I could die at any given second. My body is fucking failing and it’s giving up, Kuroo. I wasn’t happy about dying, honestly, but now, knowing that you hate it here, that you hate coming here, maybe my death would have relieved you. If you’re happy with that, then I’ll be happy too.” Kenma spoke in a shaky voice.

“Kenma…” 

Kuroo moved towards Kenma, wanting to hug him, but got pushed away.

“I want to be alone right now. Please leave.”

Kuroo respected Kenma’s desire and left. As he was about to walk out, he turned back; “I’m sorry, Kenma. I love you.”

Kenma was alone again, realizing that he had pushed away one of the people he loved the most and one of the few people who gave him that love back. His face grew hotter and his hands began to shake as a heavy burst of emotion surrounded Kenma.

This was his breaking point.

_ This is who you truly are. You hurt Kuroo. Maybe you really don’t fucking deserve to live. _

Maybe, he didn’t.

\----------

It had been a week since Kenma talked to Kuroo, but he was still keeping in touch with Yaku since he was the one person from Nekoma Kenma felt like he could talk to without tension. Their conversations mostly consisted of checking up on Kenma’s depleting health, how practice was, and as much as Kenma didn’t want to hear anything about it, Yaku would also mention how Kuroo was doing.

“Y’know, he hasn’t been acting like his usual self, the guilt is seriously getting to him. You need to talk to him to sort this out, Kenma. He still cares about your well-being.”

“I don’t want to see him or hear his voice right now.”

“I understand that, Kuroo told me what happened, but you will need to do this eventually.”

Kenma signed, he couldn’t say that what Yaku was saying was wrong. “I’ll do it when I’m ready.”

“Alright, take care Kenma.”

“Bye, Yaku.”

_ I don’t want to see him or hear his voice right now. So why? Why do I still think about him? I shouldn’t have gotten that mad at him- it’s- it’s all my fault now. _

_ I don’t deserve to eat. Not after doing something like that to someone. Not after hurting someone like that. And what the fuck is going on with your weight? Did you seriously let yourself gain? Look at your arms. What do you see? Pinch your face. What did you feel? Don’t you think you’re consuming too much again? _

Unfortunately, Kenma followed what the controlling voice in his head had told him, and started to restrict his meals again. It was hard at first, trying to figure ways out of eating since the hospital always provided him with 3 meals a day, but since the nurses developed enough trust in him from when he would eat, he worked around making the plates empty while also keeping his stomach empty. Through strategies like hiding food and disposing of it elsewhere later on. By continuing to do this, we started losing the weight he had gained and started becoming weaker again.

Kenma was surprised that nobody had caught on, but really, that was mostly him knowing how to act like everything was okay, hiding his emotions and tiredness, and being good at lying. Things seemingly working in his favor, whether fortunately or unfortunately, the doctors had stopped conducting tests on Kenma, so they were unaware of how his blood sugar was getting. Every day, Kenma sat through the pain, unable to see how much he was slowly killing himself by doing this. His mood swings had gotten harsher, throwing him into a deep depression. He hated life, he hated having to need to suffer in a way like this. He wanted to be free, to “let go”.

_ Die. Kill yourself, Kozume Kenma. _

Kenma didn’t know when, or how’d he do it, but he had his mind set to doing this. He hoped that his body would suddenly give up on him, that he would be able to go to sleep peacefully and not wake up, but he was willing to use other methods too if his body kept fighting. He looked over to his medication, estimating that he had enough to overdose on them. After days of planning, he already felt like he had everything sorted out, so he was ready to end his life whenever he felt was right. He went through his phone, checking all of his notes. He froze as he saw how many notifications he had from his messaging app. There had to be at least 50 texts from Kuroo alone, some of which read:

“I'm sorry”

“Kenma, please talk to me.”

“I know that you may never forgive me and that’s fine, I wouldn’t either.”

“Can we please sort this out?”

“I miss you.”

“I still love you Kenma, I always have, and I always will.”

“I'm such a bitch for acting that way.”

“If you don’t want to talk to me anymore, that's okay.”

“I love you Kenma.”

“...It doesn’t seem like you’re interested anymore. I’ll stop bothering you.”

Kenma didn’t even realize how much he was hurting inside until he finished reading the last texts, as Kuroo seemed to have lost hope.

_ Maybe… There’s still a chance? _

Using all of the strength Kenma had left in him, he decided to reply to Kuroo for the last time. He still had a heart for him, and if he truly wanted to end everything, he felt it was necessary to at least say goodbye to Kuroo. He knew that if he didn’t, Kuroo would never be the same for the rest of his life, and he didn’t want to do that to him. Kenma still loved Kuroo but was scared to admit it, scared of what happened when they had had their argument around a week ago.

6:30 pm

**[KENMA]:** Can you come here now?

As soon as Kuroo saw the message from Kenma, he wasted no time, and immediately grabbed his bag and made his way to the hospital. Filled with adrenaline, he ran as fast as he could, finally reaching the entrance. His chest stang with his heavy breaths, a piercing feeling, but that didn’t matter to him. All he needed was to see Kenma again. He pressed the elevator button for Kenma’s floor, fidgeting with his hands and tapping his feet at a rapid face, anxious to see Kenma. He expected the worst but was ready to accept whatever happened once he stepped foot into the room. He was prepared to get yelled at, maybe even hit my Kenma. He realized that the two hadn’t officially ended their relationship either, but was now also ready for Kenma to want to break up with him. 

The hallways felt isolated and empty, it was like there wasn’t a single soul in the area. The silence was enough for Kuroo to be able to hear his own breathing or heartbeat, which was boosted due to him running to the hospital. He got to Kenma’s door, hesitating to knock. He didn’t know how he should enter the room, how to act when he was there, or what to say. He was so confused about everything because the reason Kenma suddenly requested him to come would have either been for a positive or negative reason. A sudden voice caught Kuroo off guard while he was waiting outside Kenma’s room for around 3 minutes.

“Kuroo, I know you’re there. Please come in.”

_ Now. It’s now or never, Tetsurou. _

He placed his hand on the cold doorknob, turning it to let himself in. He immediately made eye contact with Kenma, who was smiling at Kuroo. Genuinely smiling. Both Kuroo and Kenma felt comfort as they saw each other.

“I just want to say something.” Kenma began.

“Go ahead, I’m listening.”

“Look, I’ll spare you the details of everything that has been going on in my mind regarding my disorder, but I will talk about you, about us, and what happened around a week ago. I have to admit, I too, was also unstable at that time, honestly, we both were. Of course, that still isn’t an excuse that I am going to take. You could have at least told me you didn’t want to visit me at the hospital anymore, and I would have understood that and I would have left you alone on that, but you chose to completely ignore me? Shut me out? I needed you, Kuroo, you’re basically the only person I would trust with everything, and I needed you at that time. Honestly...I'm also at a fault here too since I should have waited for you to properly explain yourself, no matter how selfish or childish your reason was, but I was so lost and at the moment, everything just blurred, and I couldn’t think straight. I was scared Kuroo, and I still am. I don’t know if I'm getting any better, but I wish we could have had more communication. I should have also made an effort to contact you too, but I was so fucking full of hate, but also guilt, and I didn’t have the strength in me to message you because I thought that you hated me too. When I saw your messages earlier, I realized that I had to talk to you because we couldn’t go on like this, it isn’t healthy. Now, I’m not saying we should break up, because I still fucking love you too, but we need to sort this out, communicate with each other about this and adjust to each other’s needs. We’re both going through this together, and we need to be on the same page. I hope you understood all of this.”

Kenma caught his breath after talking, feeling all of the weight on his shoulders fall off, the heavy boulders finally letting him relax. He looked at Kuroo, who was comprehending everything Kenma said.

“You’re completely right, Kenma. I’m sorry for putting all of my problems onto you. Let's start on that improvement and communication now, how does that sound?”

Kenma nodded in agreement, smiling as he hugged Kuroo again. The two spent the rest of their time that night talking and enjoying the small things, sharing things of interest, and trying to bring back the once happy feelings the two had. Kenma didn’t expect this change and was pleasantly surprised. He thought back to his plans from earlier, the pills, dying.

_ Maybe that won’t be necessary anymore. Things… will get better. _

_ Things are getting better. _

Kenma liked being able to smile with Kuroo again, rather than how all their previous meetings ended in tears, regret, and hate. They both realized how much they loved each other again, and wanted to improve for each other. Kenma took this as an inspiration to get better. He wanted to be able to play volleyball again without the fear of collapsing. He wanted to get back to a healthy weight. He wanted to get better for himself and for Kuroo, to be able to keep this happiness lasting, to make more memories together, to live their lives together once they had both finished high school and college. That night, as Kuroo left the room, Kenma made a promise to himself. He kept the medication he planned to kill himself using away.

_ I will recover. I will live. _

\----------

Name: Kozume, Kenma

Birthday: October 16

Age: 17

Date/time of death: August 23 2020, 2:04am.

C.O.D: Cardiovascular Complications

\----------

Kuroo woke up that Sunday to his phone blasting with messages. Most of the direct messages from people, his friends and even people he didn’t know were all saying “I’m sorry”, “Condolences”, and others checking up on how he was doing, or if he was okay. 

“Are you alright Kuroo? Did you hear what happened yet?” was one of the messages he read, but had very little context to.

Confused, he decided to check the biggest group of messages and notifications which came from the Nekoma VBC group chat, where everyone was desperately trying to ping Kuroo. He scrolled up to the beginning of the chat for that day, hoping to find an answer to what was happening, not knowing what to expect.

8:25 am

**[COACH NEKOMATA]:** I have to announce something.

**[COACH NEKOMATA]:** Kozume Kenma passed away today at 2:04 am.

**[COACH NEKOMATA]:** Practice is canceled for this week. Please take a break to recover.

**[COACH NEKOMATA]:** We all will need to be here for each other, we are a family.

Kuroo’s heart dropped. He didn’t want to believe any of this was true, Kenma was fine the night before, right? Or was he too consumed by everything to notice how sick Kenma was when he visited? His stomach churned as his heart started to beat faster and an unpleasant pressure forming on his chest, limiting his breathing. His teeth clenched and hands shook as he read over coach Nekomata’s messages over and over again. His entire body started shaking, overcome with unbearable pain and feelings, everything hurting so, so much. He looked down, folding his legs to his chest, and finally, he broke. He couldn’t breathe from the pain, the crying, the emotions overwhelming him. 

He completely refused to accept that Kenma was gone. This was all just a terrible dream, right? He was going to wake up and be able to see Kenma again at the hospital, alive, at least. He wished that all of this was a dream and that he could walk over to Kenma’s house right now, seeing him in perfect health playing games on his bed. He didn’t want any of this to be real.

Kuroo cried for what felt like hours, stopping only when he felt too tired to cry more when he felt too numb to let any more emotions out, and then would cry again. He felt so empty inside, and stayed in bed for the whole day, laying down and reading through all of his messages with Kenma. 

_ Maybe Kenma would be here right now if I hadn’t turned away from him. If I wasn’t so fucking selfish. It's my fault. All of this is my fault. _

As time went on, Kuroo failed to perform normally in class, unable to focus on any of his lessons, and always stayed out of volleyball practice, not wanting to be on the court again. He missed everything about Kenma. How Kenma would joke about staying up till 2 am to play games, simply talking to Kenma when he was bored, watching him set the balls during practice, laughing with the rest of the time as Lev desperately ran for his life in true fear, trying to escape from Kenma. Kuroo missed the small things that Kenma did to show his love, and he regretted not returning it the best he could.

At Kenma’s funeral, he struggled to hold back his tears as he spoke. He almost gave up mid-speech, wanting to just collapse and forget about everything, but he used the remaining strength that he had in him to talk. He knew that Kenma wouldn’t want him crying right now, and it hurt so much, he felt like he had let Kenma down as he glanced at the portrait of Kenma and the casket, causing him to break. It was there when he finally accepted Kenma’s death, that he was gone now, and nothing could be done to bring him back.

“Kenma was my best friend, my lover, my everything. I do have my regrets about how things were left between us, but Kenma will always have a place in my heart. In our hearts.” he ended through tears.

Kuroo thought about how much this kind of pain hurt. It hurt so fucking much, and he would hate for anyone else to have to go through pain like this. Time very slowly started to heal the wounds in his heart, the empty hole that was missing, and while it was still extremely tender, and he knew that he would never forget about Kenma. Kuroo decided on what he was going to do to change this, to prevent people from needing to go through pain like this again.

Kuroo began to invest his time in studying eating disorders and nutrition. He wanted to be able to understand the psychology behind them and how to help those struggling with any form of it, and he wanted to be able to provide any help that he could offer to them. Never letting go of Kenma’s memory, he kept a photo of them on his desk; a way to motivate himself to continue studying. He wanted to be able to do something for Kenma in return and considered this as a way to help Kenma.

Years later, with a lot of hard work, strong willpower, and dedication, Kuroo Tetsurou became well known in the medical field for his amazing work and understanding of eating disorders. He was acknowledged for how many people he was able to help and how many lives he was able to change. He helped many people to get on a healthy road to recovery, and was thanked endlessly by their friends, family, and even the patient themselves.

_ Award of Recognition, 2027. Kuroo Tetsurou. _

As Kuroo finished his work for the day, he smiled at the photo of Kenma, a bittersweet feeling swallowing him. Until now, Kuroo still loved him with all his heart, and always had a special place for him there.

“Kenma, I hope you’re proud of me. I miss you. One day, I promise, we will meet again.”


End file.
